


Princes of the Universe

by FrostedMirror (FrosredGlass)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Crowley Was Raphael Before He Fell (Good Omens), Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Not Beta Read, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 08:09:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20094058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrosredGlass/pseuds/FrostedMirror
Summary: Chloe in her search through ancient texts for a way to bring Lucifer back to LA finds her way to A.Z. FELL AND Co.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have been playing with how to make a couple of my favorite troupes fit neatly together for a little while now. They still don't fit perfectly but here it goes.

Chloe pushed a strand of lank hair out of her face with one hand and handed the black cab driver a twenty with the other. As she watched him tear away she wished she had time to stop at her hotel for a shower after her plane ride, but her first stop in London kept to very odd hours.

It ended up taking her several moments to pull the proprietor's attention away from his book. Partly because he was oblivious to her entry and partly because she had to pull herself away from a staring contest with a black serpent * and remember to say something outloud. Jetlag was the devil. Umm. Not the devil. Lucifer was exhausting but he still wasn'tas draining as jetlag. Chloe could usually function fine even after an all night stakeout, but something about traveling across so many timezones must really not agree with her. Why else would she think that the serpent's hiss sounded like "fuck off"?

Chloe shook herself out of her funk and spoke up since the cherubic man who still hadn't noticed her. "Hi. I called last week about your copy of _Interpreting Profecy _by Sofía Device. Do you still have the copy in stock?"

He startled slightly and blinked his wide eyes at her before he spoke "Ahem. Of course. I would hardly part with it."

The book ended up being entirely useless.** After several hours pouring over the book with Mr. Fell, instead of going straight to her hotel, she found herself drawn into the backroom and plied with tea. She didn't even like tea and could really use a coffee right now. 

The shop owner puttered about for awhile before he settled in with his own cup across from her. After his absentmindedness over the last several hours the direct way he looked at her now was especially disconcerting, "Why don't you tell me all about this profecy you are so desperately looking to circumvent? You were far too invested today for this to be anything but deeply personal."

And despite how absurd the story was, she found herself sharing it with a stranger, in the backroom of a used bookstore, with a serpent curled up in a corner, while drinking the tea she had been handed. 

The detective, by both nature and from years spent in a profession that demanded it, knew how to hold things close to her chest but something about this man*** made it so easy to talk****. She probably would have stopped if at any point if Mr. Fell had reacted with more than a mildly surprised "The Devil in Los Angeles?" and "Poor dears" and "It does sound like you two were very close." and "No sane being wants the Horde of Hell free on Earth."

Chloe left the shop to check into her hotel and get some sleep before her next foray into research. She had booked her trip tightly with visits to multiple locations where she might find a clue on how to safely bring Lucifer back from Hell. Maze had made a suprising number of contacts in the antiquities industry in her time on Earth. Even with the detective doing all the legwork in the limited amount of time she could get off of work, since the demon refused to leave Linda's side, they were nearly out of leads. Her other stops this trip would mostly involve slogging through church libraries for a hint of a solution. Chloe spilling the story to a stranger had been somewhat cathartic, but the high from simply talking about Lucifer didn't do much to against the disappointment of her best lead in a while being completely useless.

Two sets of eyes saw how despondent she was as she exited the shop. After the door shut the angel turned to The Serpent, "Well that was some story. Would you like to join me for some tea dear boy? Or are you going to nap some more?"

* She didn't notice but she never once thought of him as a snake. Or a viper. And for some reason she kept nearly thinking serpent as a proper noun instead of the common noun she _knew _ it was. 

** If Aziraphale had known she thought that the book had been useless he would have protested heatedly. No book was usefulless. Well. Some books were less than useful. Like much of popular fiction these days. But that is besides the point. This book had been exceptionally useful to Agnes Nutter's descendants and to an angel and a demon in their debate about exactly what a certain torn piece of paper meant. It wasn't useless at all!

*** Chloe didn't know he was man shaped not actually a man. 

**** She absently wondered if it was the tea. Or maybe something in the tea. She didn't drink tea so why should she know? (It wasn't the tea. It was Aziraphale. He hadn't even miracled her.***** He just was so sincere and her subconscious picked up on that.)

***** Not that he wouldn't have used his powers on her if she hadn't been so willing to talk. Which leads us to the very important and completely academic question: would Chloe Decker be immune to this angel's powers like she is immune to Lucifer 's?


	2. Chapter 2

Crowley knew that Aziraphale thought the demon was lying when he claimed to have merely sauntered vaguely downwards. Aziraphale was right. Crowley had lied. But Crowley knew that Aziraphale suspected that Crowley had lied to save himself remembering the pain of plummeting down to hell. The whole thing was a mess. Actually it was a carefully arranged tower of white lies stacked on top of missdirections sitting on a foundation of misfiled paperwork. Crowley had been building this particular tower for over 6,000 years. He hadn't expected it to stay standing for so long. He had more than half expected that one of his siblings would come by and knock the tower over like younger siblings have a tendency to knock over their elder siblings block towers. Crowley had a lot of siblings who were all very good at destroying things. Anytime he thought of his tower he was slightly astounded it was still standing.

The truth was Crowley hadn't sauntered vaguely downwards. He had in fact had a screaming row and stomped off. At first he had hung out among the stars. Eventually he had gotten bored and wandered back, but he hadn't wandered back in Heaven. If he told Aziraphale the truth his angel would have questions. Why didn't you tell me you are an Archangel? Why did you let me assume you were one of the legion of God's toy soldiers that fell with Lucifer when you are actually of the children of the God and the Goddess? Why does Hell think you are a demon? Why does Heaven think you are a demon? Worst would be the questions that his angel woul be too polite to ask but would think. My dear, how could you lie to me all these years? How could you betray my trust like that?

And even while he was thinking about how lucky he was that none of his fellow Archangels knocking over his tower in over 6,000 years. Crowley was seriously considering the pros and cons of doing something that would burn the tower to the ground. He had joined his angel for tea after the determined detective had left. After tea Aziraphale had returned to his books and Crowley has curled up in a patch of sunlight to plot.

Well during her story the women had mentioned that Lucifer had taken up striking deals. Maybe that would be the best approach. Hopefully, the rumors he had heard were true and the lower circles of Hell changed from moldy and damp to warm and ash filled.* Plus, Lucifer's overprotective attack dog Mazikeen was on Earth, so Crowley wouldn't even have to fight. He hated fighting.

Crowley rose up and stood on two legs. Despite being bipedal he managed to slither his way to the door. "I am headed out angel. Don't wait up." Aziraphale hummed.**

An unmeasurable amount of time later*** Crowley crossed a large room to greet a slumped figure on a stone throne.

"Raphael! Brother what brings you down from the high Heaven to visit? You certainly haven't in the past." Lucifer stretched his arms out to the side and did everything possible to be very dramatic in tone. 

"I did actually. Visit that is. Except you weren't here.****"

"Oh. Yes," he smiled "I have been up on Earth for a few years now."

"Nah. It was longer back then that."

Lucifer's smile became a bit more genuine. That is to say he looked a bit less like a shark about to take a bite out of a seal and a bit more like an overworked and depressed person trying to put on a good face. "What brings you here now? I am afraid I can't offer anything to drink."

Crowley sighed, stuck his hands in his pockets and slouched a bit more. "I heard you were making deals."

"With humans usually, yes. Not doing much of that these days." He desperately waved his hand. "But what can I do for you brother?"

"You can make sure the angel Aziraphale is safe and happy and you can come back to take over Hell in 80 years."

"What."

"Only an Archangel sit on the throne of Hell right? And your human detective misses you."

"No. No. What do you get out of this deal Raphael? What do you want?" Lucifer jumped out of his chair and paced back and forth waiting for an answer.

"Didn't I just say?" Crowley stepped up to the throne and ran a finger down the armrest. "You come back in 80 Earthly years and keep an eye on my angel. Not too complicated that."

"What."

"Has being stuck in Hell destroyed your brain? Or was it the drugs?"

"Right. Are you sure Raphael?"

Crowley raised an eyebrow at the devil and gave him a look.

Lucifer blinked. Frowned at the throne for a minute. "It is a deal on one condition brother."

"What?" A bunch of awful possibilities went through Crowley's mind. Lucifer had a reputation both with the denizens of Hell and on Earth. The Lucifer he remembered didn't match those rumors at all, but rumor doesn't spring from nothing***** and it had been over 6,000 years since they had last spoken. Take Gabriel for example. Back before the Fall he wouldn't have told anyone to shut up and die. Hmm. Well. Maybe Gabriel was a bad example. He had always had been an overbearing uncompassionate asshole.

Lucifer surprised Crowley, "You will rule Hell and do your best to hold off the Apocalypse and I will keep an eye on this Aziraphale and return to take back the throne in 80 Earthly years. Deal?" Lucifer surprised Crowley again by sticking out his hand to shake. He really had gone native in a very short time on Earth.

"Deal."

*Despite 6,000 years of impersonating a demon Crowley had spent very little time in Hell. In fact Aziraphale had gone deeper into Hell than Crowley ever had.

** It wasn't until more than a day later that Aziraphale looked up from his book. It was lunchtime. Maybe Crowley would join him for a bite out at the new restaurant down the block. Actually where was Crowley? Maybe he had gone out?

*** Crowley and Lucifer both were unknowingly in agreement that the worst thing about Hell was how you never knew how much time passed. It just couldn't be kept track of and it's passage wasn't linear. It gave them both a headache to think about.

****Actually he had visited twice. The first time Lucifer had been in the Garden hanging out with Eve. Crowley had not needed to see his brother doing those things so he hadn't approached him. Then he had been waylaid by Hastur who thought he was one of the host, and had ordered him up to Earth to cause trouble. Crowley had thought it would be interesting to see what the humans were like when they weren't distracted by his brother, so he had went up to have a look. He really hadn't meant to cause trouble. The foundation of his tower were made of a moment of panic when asked by a Principality for his name, a scrawled signature on a piece of paper a demon had handed him and the fact that Crowley couldn't figure out how to get past his brother's demon guard.

***** This is a fact. In this case it holds true, the rumors about Lucifer didn't spring from nothing, they were the result of the first successful smear campaign. It had been orchestrated by Michael. She was still very proud of it. Especially, the part about the goats. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could probably include more. Like how Aziraphale searches high and low and then finally low enough and confronts King of Hell Crowley lounging onto the throne of Hell. Or a scene on how the demons Crowley "reported" to confront him and get schooled (maybe by Crowley or maybe by Lucifer visiting). A reunion between Lucifer and his made family in LA. Chloe and Lucifer parting at her death. Aziraphale setting up a comfortable chair near the throne in Hell to read while Crowley hold court. Instead of writing any of that I am ending it here and probably not writing a sequel. 
> 
> I might come back and actually proofread it soon.


End file.
